At my previous parish, two of my friends became ill with cancer. We, their church family, prayed often enough, but in the end the two friends weren’t healed, and they both died. The question is, why? Why didn’t healing happen? Why weren’t their lives spared?
In my quiet
times about this, I am reminded from the pages of the gospels that Jesus healed
all who encountered him. He never refused anyone, even when they didn’t belong
to his own people, Israel. So why hadn’t prayer been answered? It’s an age-old
question, and one that came up at Alpha the other week.
It's a
natural and perfectly understandable human response to trauma to ask of God,
why? The unfairness, the injustice, the suffering needs to be resolved, and the
Christian turns to God. Who else is there to turn to? Friends, family, loved
ones are available, but they can’t answer the question of why. So I’ve stopped
asking why. It’s a pointless question because there is no answer. I am reminded
of God’s words through the prophet Isaiah, my ways are not your ways, and my
thoughts are higher than yours. What then, is the right question to ask?
The
question to ask is, where. Where are you God in this situation or in that matter?
There’s turn of phrase in Greek that Paul uses in verse 6 of this morning’s
passage from Philippians that literally means, towards God. It’s also used by
John in the opening verses of his Gospel, often translated as, the Word was
with God. It’s an expression of relationship. In other words, how are you and
God together? How do you stand with him? Where are you and he in relation to
each other?
To
illustrate: let’s suppose there is some issue between a husband and wife. And I
use the illustration of marriage because it’s a metaphor that our Lord often
used to describe the Christian’s relationship with God our Father, meaning
there is a covenant relationship between our Father God and ourselves as human
beings. God is there for us, and we are there for him, for his delight and his
care.
Now let’s
suppose the issue between the husband and wife has no quick fix. It’s no good
asking why, because why leads to blame and wanting to hold someone to account,
which in turn is destructive. A relationship like that becomes one of head-to-head
and goes nowhere. What matters more is where the two are in relationship with
each other. When an issue is looked at using that platform, there is
opportunity for growth, maturing in the relationship, and strengthening of the
bonds of marriage. Or if the issue is between you and God, it is the maturing
and strengthening of your relationship with him.
So it is
more productive, of more value in trauma situations, to ask where am I in
relation to those around me, than it is to ask why the situation happened, or
why God allowed it, in the first place.
Let’s now
turn to what St Paul says his letter to the Philippians about checking in with
God and ourselves in times of trauma, anxiety or any other kind of trouble, and
I’m particularly interested in verses 4-7 of his chapter 4.
The first
thing to note is that Paul stresses God’s nearness. He writes that the Lord is
near, close at hand. God is not remote, inaccessible, or otherwise out of
reach. This answers the question where, and again it’s the relational question
that is point. And because God is close by, accessible, and has created you in
his image – which is why we are relational with God – it makes sense that we
can bring all our concerns, problems and anxieties to him in prayer.
Paul says
that we should not be anxious about any thing, and it is expressed strongly in
the Greek. But in every thing, make your requests to God by prayer with
thanksgiving, with the result that the peace of God will guard you hearts and
minds in Christ Jesus. And that little word “in” is important. We are commanded
to remain in Jesus, that all important mysterious point that John makes in his
gospel about being in Christ. Then you will get your answer to the question
about where God is with you in your particular situation. So how does all this
work out in practice?
Stressed
and anxious people need to establish a sense of safety, someone with whom they
can lament their suffering, to interpret their experiences and acknowledge
their memory, so as to not be overwhelmed by them. That person needs to
establish confidence in God’s character and care for him. The Apostle Philip
asked Jesus, show us the Father, and Jesus’ reply was that if you’ve seen me
you’ve seen the Father. In other words, if you want to know what God is like,
look at Jesus.
The visible
presence of God in Jesus appearing in human history was an historical event
that demonstrated the value and dignity the God places on us his images. This
reaffirmation of dignity and value is crucial for people who have experienced suffering.
Your heavenly Father knows what being a human being is like because Jesus
Christ was a human being. God knows pain and death and suffering and betrayal
and relational difficulties. You only have to read the story of Jesus life and
ministry. Do I know what it is like to go hungry for 40 days and then be
severely tested by Satan? Do I know what it is like to have no place to lay my
head? Do I know what it is like to be crucified and die in agony? Do I know
what it is like to be betrayed to the point of death by a loved one? No, I
don’t. But my saviour and my God does. And that is why God is my rock of safety
to whom I can go to lament my anxieties and traumas.
It is why I
have confidence that God has full empathy for me. He has been through far more
than I ever will. Psalm 23 is classic: though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are [where?] with me restoring my
soul beside still waters. It’s hugely relational. Why, doesn’t matter; but
where does matter.
Now someone
will no doubt point out to me Jesus’ cry from the cross, my God my God why have
you forsaken me? It sounds like a why question, doesn’t it. But it’s more
likely a where question. Father, where are you in my agony, in my death pains?
Answer? The Father is in the Son’s resurrection, an historical event verified
by those who saw him alive after his crucifixion. The Father could have stepped
in and prevented Jesus from experiencing such a horrible death. But then where
would we be in relation to God? The outcome of Jesus’ death is his, and
ultimately our, resurrection to eternity. That’s where God is. Life can begin
again.
When we
take up Paul’s invitation to not be anxious about anything but present our
requests to God, we will experience a profound transformation that leaves
behind some of the enduring impacts of suffering. New meaningful attachments
arise, a new self-understanding, relating to others in creative ways. Life can
begin again.
An issue in
my own life happened some time ago, and after a while I became exhausted asking
why. There was no answer and it became a pointless exercise. So I started asking
where God was in this. And the answer was clear. He was in my family; he was in
this parish’s care of me in those early days; he was in my quiet times of
prayer and retreat at St Marks Camperdown. And he is there as the Holy Spirit
who comforts and strengthens me in my spirit, and in my experience of his love
for me.
God is also
in the pages of scripture. St Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 1.3-4: Blessed be
the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of
all comfort, who comforts us in all our afflictions, so that we may be able to
comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort we ourselves have
received from God.
Life may be
ordinary, but it is by no means meaningless. The prophet Jeremiah wrote of God
saying, call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden
things that you have not known. And the psalmist wrote, Search me and
know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there is any grievous
way in me, and lead me in the way of everlasting.
There was
man who went for a walk on a beach one day, his heart full of sorrow and his
head bowed down. He noticed a lonely, single line of footprints in the sand and
said to God, where are you? I’m all alone in this. And the answer came, yes
there is only one set of footprints, and those were the times when I carried
you.
So ask not of God, why, but where?
Philip Starks
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